Love, Business, and the Myth of Balance: Real Talk for Entrepreneur Couples
Since February is the "month of love," I thought I would share some relationship tips.
I say "tips" and not "advice" because—full disclosure—I am not a therapist. In fact, sometimes I feel like the last person who should be giving marriage tips! But, I am married, I do have kids, and I do run a business.
I see so many people struggle with the concept of "work-life balance." Honestly? I don’t even think balance is a thing. I once heard a quote that stuck with me forever: "There are no solutions, just trade-offs."
Relationships are probably one of the hardest lines to toe while being an entrepreneur.
In reality, I have no idea how to build a perfect marriage while running a successful business. But I do know what has helped me. Remember, I am not you, so this may not be the same for you, but here are the trade-offs and guardrails that keep my world spinning.
The Tip: I try to step away from technology from 9:00 PM to 11:00 PM to be with my spouse. If I can reserve that specific window for us, then I can work before or after that block guilt-free.
3. Connection (Big and Small)
We often think romance requires grand gestures, but for us, it’s a mix of the big and the mundane.
The Big: We try to do one big couple trip each year where we unplug—just me and him. We also aim for date night once a month. (It doesn’t happen every week, and that’s okay.)
The Small: We text throughout the day. If he calls and I don't have a meeting, I take a break to answer.
The "Boring" Stuff: Can you do more little things together? Go to the grocery store, cook a meal, put the kids to bed, or just walk to the mailbox together. It doesn’t have to be big to be connecting.
The Tip: Focus on yourself. Being able to focus on our own selves and not try to control what the other person does (or doesn’t do) is powerful.
1. The "9-to-11" Rule
I LOVE to work in the evenings. Seriously, that is when I get my best work done. But I found that if I don't set boundaries, work consumes everything.
The Tip: I try to step away from technology from 9:00 PM to 11:00 PM to be with my spouse. If I can reserve that specific window for us, then I can work before or after that block guilt-free.
2. The "3-Night" Max
It takes a toll working five days a week and also being gone for dinner and bedtime five nights a week.
The Tip: I try to have a maximum of 2 to 3 work-related events out of the house per week. If I have multiple events popping up, I pick and choose to keep them within that limit so I’m not missing family dinner and bedtime every night.
The Tip: I try to have a maximum of 2 to 3 work-related events out of the house per week. If I have multiple events popping up, I pick and choose to keep them within that limit so I’m not missing family dinner and bedtime every night.
4. Work on You (Therapy Works!)
They say no one ever died from too much therapy. In fact, right now my husband and I are both in individual therapy.
The Tip: Focus on yourself. Being able to focus on our own selves and not try to control what the other person does (or doesn’t do) is powerful.
The Groups: In addition to therapy, I joined two very intentional personal development groups. Meeting other men and women who are intentionally working on themselves helps me release and shed old patterns, which makes me a better partner.
5. Bring Your Spouse into Your World
Sometimes we think we need to keep work at work, but your partner wants to know what excites you.
The Tip: Share your work accomplishments! Tell them what is going on in your business—even the small stuff. They care.
6. Let Go of "Should"
Probably the biggest thing I’ve learned is to let go of your expectations of what other entrepreneur couple relationships look like. You will be different from others, and that is a beautiful thing.
Let go of what your marriage "should" look like, and find out what actually works for you and your spouse.
Happy February!
